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Repeal The 8th, My Personal Thoughts.

Repeal The 8th, My Personal Thoughts.

Flying a kite on the beach

Now before I start I want to make it clear this is my personal thoughts on Repeal the 8th and I am in no way telling anyone what to think themselves. This is how I feel and what I will be voting for at the end of May.  Maybe get yourselves a cup of tea/ coffee or glass of whatever because it's going to be a long one.

I am a very proud mother to three very handsome young men and I was very lucky with all three pregnancies. Neither myself or the boys suffered any ill health or complications but it's not always as straight forward. I was never raped or abused and fell pregnant but not all are as lucky as I was. I had the support of my Husband and family when I had my first two which made it so much easier for me to cope. I first became pregnant at the age of 17yrs, I was stupid is possibly the only way to describe it and got caught.  Back then I was in my last year of school, my whole life ahead of me and the prospect of doing equine science. That all went out the window when I became pregnant. Back in 1994 there was not the same supports for women to continue their studies like their is now. I told my parents and was promptly brought to the doctor to discuss my options as my Mam put it but as we talked what she really was asking about was adoption or abortion options for me. I just sat there because at 17yrs this was not something I had bargained for, to me neither was an option. So when the doctor asked me finally what I wanted and I said I wanted to have my baby he told my Mam thatI had made my choice and that was that. I was very lucky that my now husbands family were a huge support to us. I will also be forever grateful to my doctor for listening to and respecting my wishes I am sure there were loads who sided with the parents wishes. 

I sailed through being pregnant not letting it stop me, finished school, sat my final exams and did well in them. The eldest farmer arrived 7 weeks early and was perfect, I fell in love the moment I saw him. I moved out of home shortly after he was born and never looked back. The middle farmer arrived when I was 19yrs, he was planned and like my first pregnancy I sailed through except for some morning sickness. The moment he was born I told the mid wife I would never do it again that two was plenty for me. This was how I felt for the next thirteen years and then all I can say is my world fell apart for a few months till I gave myself a swift kick in the ass. I found out in June 2009 I was pregnant I was 31yrs old and my world fell apart. This was not in the plan at all, the boys were at a good age and I was getting my life back. I couldn't do a little person again, the sleepless nights, having to bring half the house to just go shopping and your life not your own. For the first 3 months all sorts of things went through my mind, I was too busy for this, I thought about all options and cried lots. Then I thought about the other two boys, what being pregnant was like and what joy and love I felt for them when they were born. I got over my shock and started to look forward to a new adventure. The littlest farmer arrived in all the snow, 4 weeks early and has been a constant source of fun ever since. 

I was very lucky as far as being pregnant goes, I had three very easy births and three healthy babies at the end. It was much harder at 32yrs being a mother to a little person than I found it at 17yrs and 19yrs but I would NEVER change any of them. I have been trying over the last while to play over different situations that women might find themselves in that they would end up pregnant or some health problems that might occur. So we will start with rape/abuse, I have never experienced either so I can not make choices for those that have as it would be wrong of me. I could not face any girl /women who suffered either and tell them that after suffering such a terrible act you now have to go through a pregnancy from it. That for the next nine months you will feel and see this person grow inside you, then you have to give birth and endure all the emotions that go with that. It is not my place to leave this person with that only option, if they did not want the pregnancy I think it is an awful cruelty to inflict on them. If they wish to keep the baby then they need all the support they can and the same if they don't the level of support should be the same. 

The next is foetal abnormalities. This is one as well that I feel is not my place to decide for any other woman or man. I have worked for years with kids with both physical and mental disabilities ranging from mild to severe and being honest I don't know if I could do it. I couldn't say for certain that if I was told my baby had a severe abnormality that I would go through with it. I have seen over the years the strain and pressure this puts on families. I don't know either if I could put my child through a life like that either if it was severe. We don't let our animals suffer and for me personally I don't think I could do it. I do know I am in no position to judge anyone else or to limit the choice that they can have.

The life of the mother is a hard one and can only really be decided by the family of that women. As a mother I would hope that they would save my child at whatever cost, placing them first. If there were no hope of saving the child then I would want to live, which possibly sounds selfish. Then there is the unplanned which I have had two. This is one that needs a little thought I think before anyone rushed to get a termination. There is so many things to look at if its not planned. Will you have family/ friends to support you? Do you want to be a mother ? because there are some women who just couldn't bare to be a mother which is fine. Will you be in harm if you are pregnant, from a family member/ husband/ partner?  these need to be thought about if it's unplanned. 

So there you have it my PERSONAL thoughts on Repeal the 8th. We will as a country be voting on this near the end of May and I will be voting to repeal it. I am voting this way because until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes you cannot understand how it will effect them. Being pregnant is a huge ask of any woman and to vote to limit their choices for help and support is not my place. I could not face a rape victim and tell them you have no choice but have that baby. You can give it up for adoption but first you need to go through birth. I want ever woman to be in control of their bodies and choices. I also know at 12 weeks which is going to be the cut off time for a termination that babies can move, smile and lots of other things. Even though I know this I still feel that this is not my place to stop anyone making their own choice, it is them who have to live with their choice. It will be them who have to make it right in their own head and it is only them who can make that choice. 

I love being a parent, I wouldn't change it and I look forward to seeing how we all vote on this. I would love to hear your personal views with no judgement, please leave a comment below.

Elaine.

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